Today I nearly had a panic attack. I've been so easy-going, able to walk the path of pregnancy with grace and aplomb, and then out of the blue it hit me with full force that I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY. I'm going to be a mother, and there's no turning back! I am strapped in on the roller coaster ride, the cars are climbing the hill, and there is no stopping until the ride is over. And just like being on a real roller coaster, my stomach plummeted at the thought.

Now, don't get me wrong; I want this child, have wanted this child, for as long as I can remember. It's just the full import, the magnitude of what I'm doing, hit me all at once. And it's extremely overwhelming.

What if I'm a terrible mother? What if I ruin this little life that's inside me? What if she gets sick and I don't know how to take care of her? What if I can't provide for her needs financially or emotionally? What if she cries all the time, gets her schedule mixed up and sleeps through the day, or fails to bond with me and Chip? What if she goes berserk as a teenager?

What if, what if, WHAT IF????

It's terrifying to think that I might fail in this, the most monumental role of my life.